You know how if you sit on your foot it cuts off the blood flow and your foot goes numb? I’ve just figured something out. My soul is not dead after all…it’s just asleep. I’ve weighed my soul down with sin and negativity and hindered God’s love from flowing through it. The feeling is already coming back now that I’ve stacked all that garbage at the foot of the cross.
What happened to the clarity of mind I once had when writing? I feel like I’m getting as bad at putting thoughts together when writing as I’ve always been when speaking. There are exactly 204,374,002 thoughts running through my brain, and when I reach out to grab one, I pull out this tangled mess of words that can’t possibly be formed into a coherent thought. Dangit. I’ve always sucked at verbal communication, please don’t let written communication die the same ugly death. I have things I want to let out but the letter-outer nozzle is clogged. ughughughughughughugh
Have you ever put on a shirt that you haven’t worn in so long, you’ve switched detergents since the last time you wore it? I love doing that. Once I’ve used a certain detergent for a while, I become immune to its scent. So when I put something on I haven’t worn forever, I notice the smell of the old detergent….and it feels good to walk around noticing how fresh you smell.
Somehow I’ve built the reputation of being the funny guy who always has something random to say. If I’m quiet, people bother me about it. Can’t a guy be melancholic without getting grief over it? I am thankful that someone cares enough to ask me what’s wrong. The problem is … I say “nothing”, and I’m actually being honest about it, but they keep asking. For once, nothing is troubling me, but it’s like I can’t convince you that I’m actually OK.
When I lay in bed trying to sleep, I start to think about useless things. Last night, I had a debate [with myself] about using words like “really” and “very” …and how people often use them unnecessarily. I started thinking about how many words we could cut out, and then had an imaginary conversation where I eliminated any words that were not necessary to make a point.
Some people count sheep.
I think of ways to streamline the English language.
Who is this geek my heart is in?
